Ask Andrew
Dear Andrew,
In the media (newspaper, television, Internet) there is a new phenomena called the art of seduction which is well-known in the USA (it was discussed on Dr. Phil television show) and in the UK. The idea of this game is using techniques to pick-up (beautiful) women. A well-known “Pick-up Artist (PUA)” Richard La Ruina AKA Gambler has put it on the UK map. He is different in comparing with other pick-up artists, by saying he using his techniques to meet a lot of (beautiful) women and become friends with them.
My question is, is it possible to use his techniques to meet (beautiful) women and then use your books (The Single Trap and I love you but I’m not in love with you) to keep a long-lasting relationship with one of them?
Andrew writes:
I am not an expert on PUA but I have read ‘The Game’ by Neil Strauss. My impression is that the most bonding happened between the guys (competing to get as many numbers as possible) than between the men and the girls.
My main concern is that how a relationship starts sets the tone for the whole relationship. In other words, if it starts with game playing, it will be probably be defined by game playing. Interestingly. when Strauss found a girl he loved, he dropped all the techniques and was just himself.
However, I have an open mind. If these techniques increase confidence of particularly shy guys, they might be useful. Personally, I would like him to love himself enough and to think he is valuable and lovable without trying to turn himself into a Pick Up Artist.