Ask Andrew
Andrew please help me I’m just about driven mad, I guess you see this all the time but my husband had an affair which lasted about 6 months with a local girl in the town that the both of us work.
We are both psv drivers him a taxi and me a hackeney, we hadn’t been getting on for a long time - issues with our children and how to handle on-going parenting issues - so I guess we just drifted apart. None the less, it still cut me to the core to find ot he was with a local travelling girl. It hurt so bad and still does I cant find a way to get it out of my head - even though he claims it was all for attention. What do I do its ripping me apart?
Andrew writes:
Firstly, tell your husband that you love him and that you want to save your marriage but pretending that it didn’t happen won’t fix anything. Part of the recovery process is asking questions and understanding what happened. It will be painful for both of you - but it will help to make sense of everything. When he tells you stuff, however painful, don’t rant and rave. Report how you feel and thank him for his honesty (as this approach will encourage more honesty)
Secondly, think of ways to improve the issues that caused the affair. What would bring the two of you back together again? How can you communicate better? How can you resolve the parenting issues? This will give you something practical to focus on - rather than letting your mind run riot.
I know this sounds like a long journey but the are a lot of positives: he is still committed to this relationship, you want it to work. Grasp this opportunity and transform your marriage into something stronger and better. My book will explain how.