Single Trap and Shame

One of the most harmful things that keeps lots of people in the ‘Single Trap’ is that they are ashamed of being single. They worry that there is something ‘wrong’ with them and that all ‘normal’ people are happily settled. Not only does this do nothing for self-esteem but encourages people put on a brave face and make the most of being single. There’s a lot to be said for this strategy but sometimes you can appear so self-sufficient that outsiders don’t imagine that you need a partner. The result is other single people can walk on by and married friends don’t think of introducing to another of their single acquaintances.

Removing the shame about being single was one of my main goals in the writing my book. It’s also why workshops are so powerful. Not only do you meet other single people, who are fed-up with being invisible or pretending everything is OK, but you discover they are ‘normal’. They’re not weird, after all, just people whose families dealt them some tough cards ow who have made some wrong decisions. Now if you develop compassion for other people in the group, hopefully you can begin to offer the same to yourself.

So although it is difficult – especially if you’re shy – to join a group session. The growth and learning potential is huge. My groups are kept small – maximum for the ‘Single Trap’ is eighteen – which allows lots of personal attention as well as the opportunity to learn from others. Why not give it a try?

To register for details of the next Single Trap workshop, which will be held in Central London, please see the Workshops and Counselling button on the left hand side of the page.