We’re always being told to plan our careers ahead, and now experts are claiming we need to plan when to have children too or risk missing out. But would we get more out of life by simply enjoying today rather than forever worrying about tomorrow? The world is divided into those who chart every step ahead and those who just improvise what fate throws at them. It is probably the most important social divide today, more important than right/left or working class/middle class. But which are you?
Take Andrew G Marshall’s test
1. You’re coming up to a landmark birthday, which best describes your preparations?
a) Booking a swanky venue months in advance and sending invitations with a very detailed dress code
b) Canvassing your friends about what might be a fun idea - for example renting a country cottage for the weekend.
c) Ringing round your mates a week or so ahead to find out who’s up for a good night out.
d) See what you feel like on the day. Who knows somebody might be arranging a surprise party?
2. A vacancy comes up at work, it means promotion….which best describes you?
a) Print off your up-to-date CV and double check that power point presentation on trebling turn over.
b) Speak to personnel to find when it will be advertised.
c) You’re no sure if you fancy it, but will think about it when you read the job specification.
d) Wait to be invited to apply.
3. You come home and find the answer machine flashing but no message, do you…?
a) As a self confessed 1471 addict, check who called as a matter of course and then ring for an explanation for the hang up. A number withheld can spoil your evening.
b) Dial 1471 but only ring back if you recognise the number.
c) Ignore it, they’ll phone back if it’s important.
d) You often forget to check your machine.
4. You’ve got two weeks holiday still to take this year…..which best describes you?
a) Unlikely to happen, I’ve already filled in all the leave of absence forms.
b) Better start researching possible itineraries on the Internet and from guide books.
c) Grab a last minute bargain and have an adventure.
d) So what, if I’m feeling in need of some time off I can always throw a sickie.
5. It’s months to go before Christmas, but the shops have started to put up their decorations….. which best describes your attitude?
a) Already consulted Delia Smith’s Christmas Cook Book. The cake is baked and the mincemeat done. Alternatively you’ve booked the caterers or the ski lodge in Aspen.
b) If I see the perfect present I’ll buy it now and store it until needed.
c) I’ll wait until the Christmas spirit grabs me - probably in December.
d) Why is everybody panicking? There’s lots of bargains to be had on Christmas Eve
6. A friend invites you for a week end in a health spa later this month, which is most likely to be your reply?
a) ‘Sorry I’m booked up for the next six months.’
b) ‘Let me call you back, it clashes with something but I can hopefully rearrange.’
c) ‘Great, there’s nothing in the diary I’ll look forward to it.’
d) ‘Maybe, can I let you know.’
7. Which of the following best describes your relationship with your mother?
a) She wouldn’t come round without phoning first.
b) I make certain we spend quality time together.
c) She’s more likely to phone me than I am her.
d) Always pleased to see her, but we can go for ages without speaking.
8. A friend is holding a party, and has suggested setting you up with an attractive friend of her’s. What is your reaction?
a) At last she’s got the hint! Short of doing the catering I’ve done everything to make this party happen.
b) Phone your best mate to help you shop for a killer outfit and discuss a beauty make over
c) I’ll be myself and see what happens. I can always get something special for the second date.
d) It’s really kind of her, but really she shouldn’t have bothered.
9. Your boyfriend is forty five minutes late picking you up. Which best describes your response?
a) By now he’s my ex-boyfriend. Unreliability is something I will not tolerate.
b) I’ll make him suffer, the ice maiden treatment will stop him trying that one again.
c) There’s probably a good explanation.
d) Thank goodness. It gives me more time to get ready.
10. With all the stories about ‘baby hunger’ in the papers which best describes your attitude….
a) The information about how much fertility drops between 35 and 40 is really helpful, I’ve revised my plans.
b) My boyfriend and I should really have a talk and decide where our relation is going.
c) I’ve always wanted children, but I’m not certain when.
d) Life has a habit of deciding these things, so stop nagging.
11. When things go wrong, who do you blame?
a) Somebody else, I’ve done everything I can.
b) Yourself - I should have been better.
c) Nobody - I didn’t want to do it anyway.
d) Fate. These things happen.
12. When it comes to a bit of juicy office gossip, do you believe?
a) Knowledge is power, the more you know the easier to predict how co-workers will react.
b) Makes for good office bonding, but I play my own life close to my chest
c) Harmless fun, I’m just as likely to enjoy telling about my wild weekend as hearing about other people’s
d) I’m always the last to know.
13. Your personal motto is:
a) Take charge.
b) Forewarned is forearmed.
c) I’ve found solutions in the past, I’ll also survive what tomorrow brings.
d) Don’t worry be happy.
How did you do?
Mostly a) Obsessive Planner. You are full of energy and drive. However you have a tendency to impose your ideas rather than listen to other people. We imagine that if we can control everything, we will feel happy and secure. However it is a fool’s paradise, other people will not always march to your tune and life throws curved balls. Be careful or you could easily become a control freak - if you haven’t already!
Mostly b) Moderate Planner. You know where you’re going and what you want. But don’t be too fixed on the future or you will overlook interesting but unexpected opportunities today. Generally you have a good balance in your life, but sometimes your friends find it hard to know the real you. Try letting your guard down occasionally.
Mostly c) Moderate Improviser. You don’t like to be pinned down about what you consider unimportant matters, but will commit to important long term goals. You are charming and popular, but sometimes feel bitter about friends who are more successful. To match them, concentrate on the intermediate steps to turning your dreams into reality. This will provide a bridge between today and a better future.
Mostly d) Committed Improviser. Generally, you’re happy-go-lucky and always up for a good time. However you are so busy enjoying today, you don’t see problems building up and can be overwhelmed by them. That’s why you are prone to depression and feeling helpless. Instead of blaming others and life in general, understand your own contribution and take control.
There are more quizzes and exercises in Andrew’s book ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you.’