Times: ‘Should be your new bedtime read’ Suzi Godson Sex Columnist.
For the full piece: http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article7032136.ece
Here is some feedback from people who have read ‘How can I ever trust you again?’
“Thank you for writing this book. My husband had an affair with a younger woman about 18 months ago. Although it was very brief and once discovered came clean, broke it off and did everything to try and make things right again, I have really struggled with the trust issue. We went to Relate a few times and I also found a separate therapist to talk things through with, but never really felt I had resolved things in my own mind. It didn’t help that the other woman would try and contact my husband every 8-9 weeks for almost a year(which he always showed me and never replied back to) I had come to the conclusion that after 20 years and 3 children this had left such huge scars in the marriage that separation was eventually inevitable and that once the children were older I would leave him. I saw this book last week and bought it in a last effort to try and understand why I was still in such pain. Knowing that other people had gone through exactly the same emotions and having all the different stages explained with ways to overcome each hurdle, were like an epiphany - I felt as though instead of fighting everything and feeling guilty for my feelings and so angry all the time, I had been given permission to go through these feelings because they were normal. Your explanations as to why these things happen were put in such a sensible and understanding way that I honestly felt a huge blanket of bitter and painful feelings had just ebbed out of my body. I wish it had been published a year ago as I would not have wasted months obsessing about their relationship, of which there really wasn’t one except in my own mind. Thank you.”
“As someone who was recently devastated to discover a partner’s infidelity, I cannot recommend this book highly enough. Written mainly to give support and guidance to the “Discoverer” of both an “inappropriate relationship” or a full-blown affair, ” How can I ever trust you again?” is a fantastically practical and supportive piece of work. Mr. Marshall not only shows great empathy for the torment suffered by the person who has been let down but also helps to provide an understanding of the underlying problems behind the affair and a strategy for moving forward from it. The book is full of useful tips for more effective communication so that the reader learns the tools essential for becoming a stronger individual who is able to articulate his or her feelings and needs in a less emotionally charged way. For someone who is in constant turmoil, the knowledge that there is a ladder of progression to recovery (with only seven and not seventeen steps thank goodness!) affords a very welcome sense of calm.
What I really liked too were the short equally compassionate sections in each chapter written to help the “Discovered”. Whilst unwilling to read other books on the subject because of a feeling of being judged, my partner was prepared to read and discuss these summaries together.
If you have sadly found yourself in this position,this book will provide a real lifeline of hope and is money very well spent.”