Share your advice
Do you have any practical advice which would help other people caught up in the ‘I love you but’ dilemma? Share your experiences, ask other readers of the book for advice or simply to comment on the book.
A tip from Jennifer for investing time together: ‘We only have one TV in the house and so if we both want to watch it, we get to watch together (which means I watch more car shows than I would like and he watches more reality TV than he would chose) but we have lots to talk about.’
This is from Gus from the Netherlands: ‘If you want to drive a car you must have a driving licence. To get a driving licence you must do practical experience in driving a car with the help of a driving instructor. Also you must have the understanding of the traffic rules which are applied during driving the car. When you have enough practical experience in driving a car and have knowledge of the traffic rules you can do a driving examine. If you pass the examine you will get your driving licence and you will be able to drive a car. This procedure should be the same for those who wants a long-lasting relationship with someone. I would advice them to get training (with the goals like: knowledge of human behaviour/culture and able to communicate correctly with others) so that they learn how to participate in healthy relationship.’
This next piece of advice should be read by anyone who is torn between their partner and strong feelings for another person: `I have been with my husband for 13 years (married for 5) and have a 3 year old daughter. My husband travels the world through his job while I work at home. In 2009 I had a 10 month affair with my boss. It was true love and worth ditching my unfulfilled marriage for…until I read Andrew’s book. What an eye opener the book is and explains so much about the stages of relationships. It is taking time and a lot of effort but I am finding my way back to my husband, even though I am still in limerence with my boss. One love is starting to fade and the other is beginning to repair stronger than it was to start with. I am so happy and grateful that I found this book and that Andrew took the time to write it. Many thanks Andrew xx´It´s always nice to get positive feedback, so I´d like to return the favour. It takes a great deal of self knowledge to step back and look at your behaviour with a detached eye. So well done yourself. I´m sure this quality will be a great asset hen rebuilding your relationship.
The next piece of advice I’d like to have blown up into a card and put on the wall of my waiting room. It is from Janey: ‘Do not let children dominate your lives. I married someone who was determined to be a better father than his had been, I wanted to please him AND them and the result was we were both obsessed, with our kids and spent every weekend doing things with them. It was easy to let adult love fade away in the comfortable easy family setting.’